Building the Inner Persona: Jokes!

In this installment of the Inner Persona miniseries, we’ll continue to expand our mental ‘word-hoard’ of in-universe phrases. In addition to the everyday words we use for things, the jokes we use can also be a great way to do this!

“What’s the last thing to go through an Imperial scout trooper’s head when he hits a tree? His afterburner.” ―Joke told by Rebel forces on Endor (New Essential Guide to Vehicles & Vessels)

“What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual.
What do you call someone who speaks one language? Human.” (Empire Blues, Tales from the Mos Eisley Cantina)

“What’s the difference between a lightsaber and a glowrod? A lightsaber impresses girls!” (Legacy of the Force: Invincible) As we will see below, it seems Jacen was still making dumb jokes even into adulthood.

“How does one know when a Columi is lying?”
“He’s speaking.” – Supernatural Encounters

“Don’t stick your head out; it draws fire.
Don’t draw fire, it makes everyone near you nervous.
If you’re going to draw fire, do it over there.”–old Rebel SpecForce joke (Rules of Engagement)

How many Corellians does it take to change a glowpanel?”
“None! If the room’s dark, you can’t see Corellians cheating at sabacc!” (I, Jedi, Ch35)

“You know why so many Corellians used to get caught and sent to Kessel?”
“They were lonely for the rest of their family!” (ibid.) Since the implication is that they’re all criminals, it’d probably not be a good idea to use this one if you’re portraying a Corellian

“What’s the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm.”
This one is a modern geek joke, but I can imagine it might have been passed around Echo Base prior to the Battle of Hoth after folks heard about Luke’s rescue? I include it here to point out the importance of being able to read one’s audience. As I once found out when I was in first-person and a group of schoolchildren demanded I tell them a joke…this one only really works if the audience knows what a tauntaun is!

The Young Jedi Knights books decided that one of Jacen Solo’s personality traits would be an annoying habit of cracking Dad Jokes in an attempt to woo Tenel Ka. Unless noted, I suspect most of these are originals:
“What do you call the person who brings a rancor its dinner? The appetizer!” (YJK #1)

“I heard two droids talking the other day. The first one said, ‘well, did you beat the Wookiee at Sabacc?’ and the second one said, ‘Yes but it cost me an arm and a leg!’” (YJK #2) Lando actually says that this is an old joke.

“How many stormtroopers does it take to change a glowpanel?
Two – one to change it, and the other one to shoot him and take credit for all the work.” (YJK #2)

“How long does Uncle Luke need to sleep? One Jedi night!” (YJK3) Clearly a Jacen original.

“What’s the difference between an AT-AT and a stormtrooper on foot? One’s and Imperial walker, and the other’s a walking Imperial!” (YJK #3)

“You know why a Wampa snow monster has such long arms? Because his hands are so far away from his body.” (YJK #4)

“Why is a droid mechanic never lonely? Because he’s always making new friends!” (YJK #4)

“Which side of an Ewok has the most fur? The outside!” (YJK #4)

“What do Jawas have that no other creature in the galaxy has? Baby Jawas!” (YJK #5) Another Jacen original

“What sound do Whiphids make when they kiss? ‘Ouch!’” (YJK #5) (They have tusks.)

“What time is it when an Imperial walker steps on your wrist chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer!” (YJK #6)

“How do you tell the difference between a rancor? One of its legs are both the same.” (YJK #7) This is said to be well-known non-sequitur from Dathomir.

“Buzz buzz…who’s there…dismay…dismay who? Dismay not seem funny to you, but I’m hoping you’ll at least smile.” (YJK #8) The GFFA apparently has ‘buzz-buzz’ jokes instead of ‘knock-knocks’!

“What does an Imperial Star Destroyer wear to a formal occasion? A bowTIE!” (YJK #9)

Do you know any in-universe jokes that I’ve missed? Drop a comment below, or let me know so I can add them to the list!

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